“YOU STUPID IDIOT!” Have you ever said that to a prospect or client?
I certainly hope not. However, why do we say it to ourselves? More importantly, why do we believe what we tell ourselves? Does anyone believe that the things we tell ourselves do not affect how we perform; be it in our business or personal life?
Humans have these things called feelings and therefore, whenever we receive any information, be it internal or externally, we cannot simply process it and then come to an outcome like a computer can. Our process is much more complicated.
A computer receives information, processes it and provides hard data and outcomes. We on the other hand; receive the data and put it through three different filters which lead to feelings. Depending on the outcome of the filters and before we know it, mind chatter happens; also known as ‘the voice inside your head.’
Past experiences are the first filter. In other words, the last time you had a similar situation what happened? For example; you are on the edge of a dock as a child and thinking that the water is shallow you ‘leap’ in. You find that it is quite deep and you can’t swim and only the action of someone nearby saved your life.
Today, you have an opportunity that may increase your business career, but you will need to take a ‘leap’ in order to make it come to fruition. However, you remember that ‘leap’ you took as a youngster. Therefore, you take a step back to play it safe and the opportunity goes to someone else because your voices are reminding you about the ‘leap’ you took as a youngster.
The second filter is present needs. Have you ever have this happen; you are driving down a street you do on a regular basis, but today you are hungry and you notice a restaurant that you had never noticed before? The reason you never saw it before is that there was no need at the time.
Using our opportunity of above, you may reason that your current needs are met and are quite comfortable where you are now and taking the ‘leap’ is not necessary as there is no want. It has been scientifically proven that if the need to be more successful because you need essentials to exist, then the fear of being poor will override the fear of taking the ‘leap’. Regardless, your feeling of fear is what is dictating what you do.
The final filter is your value system. Your sense of what is right and wrong, or good and bad. Does the opportunity meet the value test, or are you going to talk yourself into all the reasons why it may not pass the value filter test?
The head chatter includes some of the following: “I am not good enough.” “I will be bothering them.” “She/he will never be interested in someone like me.” “I know they won’t like me.” “This is way too hard.”
Now, if there was a scientifically proven way to get rid of this negative self-talk? Lucky for us there is. Come back next week for a simple four-step process to rid yourself, or at the very least minimize the voices in your head. In the meantime, think about what you do tell yourself that you would never tell another human being.